As I was dropping off DS3 at daycare this morning a bad memory entered my mind.
It was soon after DS3 was born and I had to bring DS2 to daycare. I was holding the baby carrier with one kid in it, another kid was running in front of me and another was dragging behind. It was freezing outside and I was looking in front, looking in back and shlepping along slowly until I finally reached the front door of daycare. As I looked up, I saw someone was already holding the door open, so I grabbed the door and continued looking back for DS who was still outside. I was in a total daze, just focusing on the task at hand- get all 3 kids into the building safely.
It wasn’t until I heard those dreaded words that I snapped out of it. The person who held the door open for me looked at me and said, “You’re welcome” in the snarkiest tone ever.
I then looked up, smiled and said, “Thank you” and went on my way. But wow, did that leave a sour taste in my mouth!
I realize that I didn’t say thank you when someone did something for me, but did this woman, when she saw me shlepping in 3 little kids really think that I wasn’t grateful for what she did? Did she think I purposely didn’t say thank you? What was the reason she felt she needed to call me out on it? DIDN’T SHE SEE I WAS LOOKING AFTER 3 KIDS- ONE WHO RAN IN THE BUILDING AND ANOTHER WHO STILL WASN’T INSIDE YET?
And then it hit me. Yes, she is one of those moms with a nasty attitude. I don’t know why she thinks she has to be the one to teach everyone a lesson. But there is a lesson I can learn from this.
There are a few Jewish families who send their children to this daycare. It’s so important to make a kiddush Hashem, no matter how preoccupied we are. I now try extra hard to pay attention to what’s going on around me. Not only at daycare, but everywhere I go.
The other thing I learned is that we really have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If someone doesn’t say thank you, it doesn’t mean she isn’t grateful. Likewise if someone says something nasty, I won’t take it personally. Maybe that person is going through a hard time and chose to take it out on me.
I don’t know why that mom did what she did, but all I can say is: lesson learned.
How do you react when you think someone is being unfairly judgmental?
Until next time,
Shaindy
I feel grateful that I have the bigger picture and try to give them the benefit of the doubt for not being able to see it themselves. I mean I hope that I do this!!