Having a baby is hard enough, but it doesn’t just stop there. Once you have a baby everyone, strangers included, feel responsible to give you their advice and opinions on anything and everything whether you want it or not. These one-sided discussions always drove me crazy. They were the reason I didn’t want to talk to people.
I found that even the smallest, most innocent comment would set people off. If you mentioned the word “bottle” it would open up a conversation that could go anywhere-
- Why breastfeeding is better
- The best type of bottle to use
- The perfect temperature to heat the bottle
- The best position to hold the bottle
- Formulas – best ones to use and where to get the best prices
Basically you get the point. I mentioned one word – bottle – and within 3 seconds I thought of 5 debates people love to have.
Here’s what can happen if you mention the word “breastfeeding”:
- Why it’s best to train your baby to use a bottle
- Most comfortable pillow to use- do you use the Boppy or the My Breast Friend?
- Best way to bond with your baby during this special time
- Should you be allowed to do it in public? Would you do it in public?
- Pumps
Baby-wearing and co-sleeping are some other “hot” topics I liked avoiding. To each their own. I never personally wore my baby in any type of sling/wrap, but it was mostly because I was afraid the baby would fall out. And co-sleeping? I did what was easiest for me and what provided the most sleep. Because honestly, with a newborn, all you really want is sleep. So I won’t mention sleep training either. Is it really considered torcher to let your baby cry it out for a few minutes? How quickly will a baby learn to soothe himself? Should I let my baby use a pacifier (another hot debate)?
Other topics to avoid include the best way to give birth- epidural? Home-birth? Doula? You get the drift. Whatever you decide is best, there will be someone out there telling you how horrible it is.
I want to encourage all you new moms out there (including my free-thinking little sister!) to make your own decisions and stick to them. Do your research! Google is your friend. And if something isn’t working for you, then you can change your ways. Just because you swore you wouldn’t start solids before 6 months, doesn’t mean that you can’t try it beforehand if that’s what you feel is right for your child.
And don’t get annoyed at all the well-meaning , advice-giving people out there. Nod, smile, say “thank you” and walk away. Then do whatever the heck you want.
Until next time,
Shaindy
